I was stuck. I felt like I was living the same horrible feelings day after day. I tried many different things to change those feelings, but ultimately I would end up feeling the same way. One night I broke down to the Lord that I didn’t know how to move forward and feel better about my situation. I literally felt trapped in my life. This is the formula that He revealed to me. I use this formula in every situation when I don’t know how to move forward and when I feel helpless. First, let me take you back in time…
We had just moved to Utah from California. Neither of us (my boo and I) wanted to leave our lives in California. We had many misconceptions and judgements about Utah without ever living there before. I had a really hard time when we moved there, for many reasons. Here is the formula that I was taught that changed everything for me:
1- SAY GOODBYE. First the Lord told me it was time to say goodbye to California. It was a beautiful place filled with many good memories for our family, but our time there was done. I needed to say goodbye to the story of us living there, the story had ended. Many of us hold onto the idea of how we think things should be. I should of got that job, I should not be living here, I should not of married this person, I should be just like this other person, my child should not have these challenges. This is us arguing with our reality, this causes immense amount of pain for ourselves. I kept re-living my life in California over and over again, just recycling the pain of the fact that I no longer lived there. I literally wrote out a goodbye letter and thanked California for the amazing memories and friends we had met. (Writing is a very powerful tool that helps our brains with awareness).
2- EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE. Once I said my goodbyes to California, the Lord said it was time to embrace Utah. I was so focused on all the things that were wrong, that I was missing out on all the things that were going right. We were living in a beautiful place, hiking every weekend as a family, and having new adventures. It was time to embrace my reality. Embrace means to accept or support a belief or change willingly and enthusiastically. I don’t know how enthusiastic I was about my situation, but for me embracing meant to take it all in. The good and the challenging parts of it, but now I knew they were for me, not happening to me.
3- COME TO THE LORD FOR HELP. Once I could see that it was time to write a new story and embrace my situation, then the Lord ended with telling me to come to Him every time I felt weak. Come to Him for help, strength, reassurance, comfort, and my favorite- love.
Heavenly Father sees me and He sees you.
Here is what it may look like for someone to apply the formula. They have a child who is challenging and needs extra effort. First this parent has to say goodbye to the idea of what she thought motherhood would be like. Her story of how her children were going to behave or turn out. Or maybe it is saying goodbye to the days of when the child was younger and it was easier. Next she will have to embrace that this is where her child is at today. Her child may or may not change. Embrace all the good and challenging things and accept it. She could argue that her child shouldn’t be this way, but there is no upside to this and it only recycles the pain over and over again. Acceptance brings understanding. Lastly, the days where she feels weak as a mother and wants to give up, she turns to the Lord for help and strength. She prays for the help to embrace what is.
I have a 4 week parenting course called Brave Parenting. We go in depth on how to apply this and other tools to help create more peace around parenting. There are many things that can help parenting to feel more enjoyable and less stressful. For more details email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org