The One On: What Is My Role Now That My Spouse Has Left The LDS Church?

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Today I listened to a podcast by my coach, Brooke Castillo.  She was talking about this concept called “confirmation bias.”  Which means that when we have a belief about something we are constantly finding evidence to keep proving that belief true, even if it is not a healthy belief or even if we don’t want to believe it.  In general as humans, it is hard for us to be wrong about something, therefore we want to always be affirming what we already believe.  This is why two people can be sitting in a Sunday School lesson and one person is overcome by the spirit and the person next to them is not feeling anything.  They have different beliefs and thoughts which are proving what they already believe is true.  This is another reason why it is so important to be aware of your beliefs and thoughts, they are deciding how you are seeing the world.

One thing I believe that can really pierce through our own confirmation bias is the Holy Ghost.  He has the power to change any kind of heart.  Maybe it feels like your spouse’s heart is so hardened that nothing will break through it.  Luckily it isn’t your job to do it.  Your job is to love him no matter where his heart is.  I believe in the power of the Holy Ghost, stay close to him for your own comfort and guidance on what you should be doing.  Heavenly Father loves you and sees your efforts.  Learn this brave kind of love and turn the rest over to the Lord.  This requires humility.  Humility opens us up to seeing things in a new way or understanding how someone could see something in a completely different way than us.  “…a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God.  And behold they were faithful until the end…”  Alma 5:13  This is our role.

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