I would of chosen a long white dress. A crown of flowers with her hair down curled. Cute ballet looking flats. Kalli didn’t want any of these things. She wanted the biggest, puffiest dress she could find, her hair up in a bun, and shoes that she thought were so cute and didn’t matter if they matched.
My Kalli was baptized this last weekend. I hope to always have the image in my head of when she first looked in the mirror at herself in her new white puffy dress with khaki wedges. I knew in her smile that she saw what she had imagined herself to look like in her head. Isn’t that the best when that happens?
I could of stole that moment from her and forced her to wear what I thought looked the best. What I wanted others to see on her. How many moments have I stolen from my children because I had forced my own ideas on them? Afraid others would judge them, which meant they were judging me… or afraid to watch them fail, mess up, get hurt, or feel disappointed.
I always try to remind myself: My child was God’s child first.
He is actually the parent who knows what is best for each of my children. I want them to do His will, not mine.
Do not get in your child’s way. Do not rescue, fix, manipulate, or try to control their path from any obstacles. These were set up from their Father who understands that all experiences will be for their good. He knows exactly what they need to learn from to be their best selves, don’t steal those from them.
Trust. Trust that our Heavenly Father has them and understands what they are battling. Trust that it will be okay.
It doesn’t mean we just allow our children to do whatever they want. As their earthly parent, we set up guidelines and consequences, but they choose to follow them. Our role is to lead them with our example (which means we are always working on improving ourselves), guide them to their Father, and walk beside them when they ask for our help. We don’t carry them, but let them know we are here.
Of all the things we spend our money on for our children, the best gift we can give them is the space to really be themselves… even when it doesn’t look like what we imagined in our heads.
This is not easy work. Trust me. As a recovering control freak, this has been something I have constantly worked on with my children. Would love to help teach you the things that have worked for me. Sign-up for a complimentary session to learn how.