Whatever you give attention to: grows.
There is positive attention and negative attention. Both will make something grow.
You will be able to tell what you are giving attention to by the way you spend your time and what you are constantly thinking about.
If I pay attention to all the things my husband isn’t doing, then my resentment, frustration, and disconnection grows for him. If I’m paying attention to the things he is already doing right, noticing the small ways he is trying, and give him attention for those things, then my love, patience, and connection grows for him.
If I spend hours on social media and pay attention to the need for likes, approval, and constantly comparing, although I am paying attention to myself, it is in a negative way and results in me not feeling good about myself. My insecurities, self-doubt, and judgement of others grows. If I pay attention to my own strengths without needing others to see it, meet my own needs, and allow others and God to love me the way I am today, then I am paying attention to myself that grows a deep love and respect for myself.
If I believe my child’s behavior is a reflection of me as a mother, then I will pay attention to all their shortcomings, failures, and annoying behaviors. My need to fix them grows and so does my disconnection. If I take myself out of it and see my child for who they are and who they are trying to be, pay attention to all the small details that I love about them, pay attention to them when they are telling me something, and just love them for who they are today- then a deep love grows for them and my need to control slowly starts to die.
We are asked to read the scriptures and pray often because when we do, it puts our attention on learning about the Savior, our relationship to Him, and what we need to be doing in our own lives. This grows our love for Him and grows our testimonies.
There are always positive things and negative things to every situation, which one are you going to give attention to?
I suggest you pay positive attention to the things that matter in your life. It will grow. Pay attention to the things you love and your love will grow.
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