Satan is darkness. The very blackest of colors there is. He wants us to stay hidden and keep things in the dark. Where things can grow, fester, confuse us, keep us lost, and feel completely hopeless. It’s where things become out of control because they aren’t being dealt with. We start to act in ways we normally wouldn’t or do things that don’t feel like us because we haven’t taken care of all the things buried inside of us.
Instead of dealing with all the pain and negative feelings, we avoid them. Bury them deeper and deeper, hoping they will somehow vanish. The problem is, they never disappear. They are just slowly building up and will eventually come out in ways you least expect from yourself.
Christ is light. He is the brightest of all colors. He is transparent, clear, and pure. When things are brought out into the light, then we can begin dealing with them. We can even use Christ when dealing with them. Things in our life need to be looked in the face, seen, understood, and dealt with so we can bring change if we want it.
This applies to every aspect of our lives, but most importantly to our relationships.
We may be harboring things that our spouse does or things that happened to us as a child, and when they haven’t been truly dealt with, then our spouse is an easy target to take things out on or blame for things.
How do we get things into the light and properly deal with them so we aren’t unintentionally ruining our relationships?
The best way place to start, that is completely free, is through writing it all out. We need to empty what is inside of us to let better things fill us back up and it can begin with writing it all down. I always tell my clients that they can burn the paper or throw it away when they are done.
Writing is so powerful because you can see what is really going on inside of you and begin to face it, without an outside opinion involved. Sometimes we just need to think something through and process it before we decide to hear what others have to say about it.
There have been times in my life where I felt very alone. I didn’t think anyone would understand me or even cared to know what I was going through. Or if it involved someone else, I didn’t want to feel like I was talking bad about them to others. I began to write out my thoughts about how I was feeling and what I was dealing with. This would lead to insights and help to understand why I was feeling a certain way. Then if I needed more help, I would pray or talk to someone I trusted.
Marriage can be very stressful. Life in general can feel stressful. They key is to get out what is causing the stress so that you can take care of it in the way you want to instead of reacting to it and taking it out on others.
I wake up early and write every morning. I just start writing whatever is on my mind. I don’t worry about my penmanship, I don’t judge the things I am writing, I just know that I am trying to empty out whatever I am feeling so that I can take a look at it. Once I look at it, I can decide if I want to change it.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself while you are writing:
*What am I afraid of? Why?
*What is really bothering me? Why? (answer) Why? (answer)… the more times you keep asking yourself “why”- the deeper you will get to the real issue. P.S.- all roads lead back to you somehow. Which is great news because you are the only person you can really change.
*I like to ask myself: What’s the matter love?
*What feels the most stressful right now? Why?
*Is this really true?
*I’m feeling so ________ because __________.
None of these are meant to solve your problem, but it is the first step to awareness and getting things out into the light. As a coach, I help you to know what to do with all these thoughts and how to move forward from them. But even just having more self-awareness around why you do the things you do or what has buried itself inside you- will bring you some freedom and relief.
Don’t keep things in the dark. It only makes things worse. Brings things out so that things can get better. After I finish writing, I like to go and pray about it. I think of the song, I Know that My Redeemer Lives, when it says:
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away all my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart.
Pray to Heavenly Father and let Him hear your soul’s complaint. Empty it all out and I promise you that He will fill you back up with exactly what you need to heal and move forward.
P.S. I help my clients know what to do with the things that come up for them. Let’s get on a call so I can hear where you feel stuck and where you aren’t sure how to move forward. Click Here to schedule your live call with me. It’s time to begin healing.