The One On: How Labor Pains Have Helped Me In My Relationships.

Baby me
Baby Me.

I remember sitting nervously in my first birthing class.  The instructor repeatedly said to breathe through contractions.  She firmly said not to get tense and try to fight against them, it will only make them worse.

I was amazed at how true this was when I got ready to deliver my first baby.  The more I just allowed the contractions and breathed through them, the less painful they were.  As soon as I tensed up and tried to fight against them, they became more intense.

This same concept is also true when it comes to our feelings.  The more we just allow them initially, the less pain we will feel.  But if we try to resist them, they will become more intense.

We have thoughts in our mind about things happening in our life, which then sends a feeling down into our heart.  Good feelings like: love, acceptance, charity, kindness etc- feel really good inside of us.  Some of us even experience a warmth in our hearts and chest.  However, bad feelings like: anxiety, stress, depression, anger etc- feel terrible.  They are extremely uncomfortable and our natural reaction is to try to resist them.

When we just allow whatever we are feeling at first, then we can handle our situation better.  Allowing is defined as: give necessary time or opportunity for.

Are you giving the necessary time and opportunity for your feelings?  Or are you burying them deep inside you and fighting against how you really feel?  That is resistance.

Resistance is defined as: the refusal to accept or comply with something.

Allowing yourself and telling yourself the truth about how you really feel- is like breathing through the contractions.  There is some pain and discomfort, but you will be able to handle it.  However long it needs to take.

Resisting the feeling and telling yourself not to feel that way or try to ignore it- is like tensing up to the contractions and making your feelings more intense.  This is especially true for anxiety.  It only gets fueled by resisting it- instead of allowing it and working through it.

I had a client who found out that her husband had been lying to her for years about pornography and other habits.  You can imagine the feelings that flooded her heart when she found out the truth.  Some of those feelings were betrayal, anger, hurt, and many more.  Her body didn’t want to feel these things.  It wanted these painful feelings to just go away.  So she tried burying them and fought hard against really feeling them.  All this did was increase her anxiety.  She became more and more anxious and began worrying about everything.

When we started working together, it was time to let some of these feelings out.  I taught her how to allow them so that we could look at them, and eventually change them when she was ready.  It was uncomfortable and hard for her to finally feel them, but then they stopped having so much power over her.  She was able to finally get a grip on her anxiety and get to a more peaceful place in her relationship.

We are meant to feel all kinds of feelings while here on Earth.  There will always be opposition in all things, so we aren’t supposed to feel good all the time.  Therefore, we don’t need to resist any of our feelings.  If we learn to allow them, then we can understand them and change them when we are ready.

Name your feelings out loud to yourself on what you are feeling in your heart.  Be honest with yourself.  Then, let the Lord help you deal with these feelings so that your hearts remain soft and open.  If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.  1 Nephi 15:11

If you need help with handling your feelings, especially anxiety, let’s get on a call together and talk about it.  I can help you.  Click Here to schedule your free call with me.

 

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