Do you ever feel exhausted in your marriage? The thought of trying to change things sounds tiring and overwhelming?
It could be that you are feeling lonely.
Loneliness is a lethargic feeling. It makes us feel tired and exhausted. When felt for a long period of time, it can feel isolating and like there is no hope.
The opposite of loneliness is connection and inclusion. When we are feeling connected to someone else, it brings us energy. It doesn’t have to be a group of people, just feeling seen and heard by another person you trust can bring large amounts of energy and peace.
Many people are feeling lonely in their marriage, but especially those who have different beliefs in the home. Both partners are feeling very lonely, but for different reasons.
The spouse who has stayed in the Church can feel lonely about:
-Not being on the same page anymore.
-Torn between how to raise the kids when it use to feel like everyone was moving in the same direction.
-Not being able to share spiritual experiences or thoughts anymore, which feels like a big part of who they are.
-Going to church alone or with just the kids, and it not feeling the same anymore.
-Afraid of others judging them or treating them differently at church.
-The Gospel feeling like a “hot” topic at home and contentious, instead of something that builds connection and peace.
The spouse who has left the Church also feels very lonely about:
-Not being allowed to really share how they feel.
-Worried about being rejected by parents or friends.
-Sad for the pain they have caused their spouse.
-Misses the friendships and relationships they had with other members.
-Feels betrayed and hurt by the Church.
There are many more ways that could be added to these lists, but the point is that both people in the marriage could be feeling lonely- and loneliness can make you feel like: What’s the point?
Here is my point:
You don’t have to have the same beliefs to feel connected and happy with your spouse, you just need to feel like you can confide and trust the other person.
Trust takes time to rebuild again, but it is possible. Trust to start sharing your real feelings and allowing your spouse to share their real feelings. Trust that everything will be okay even when it looks different that you want it too or imagined. Trust that your love for each other will help heal and mend things that feel broken in this moment.
Begin to confide and trust in each other again. This will bring peace and energy to keep moving forward together. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel sad at times that things are different, that’s okay, but you don’t need to feel so alone in your marriage.
We all feel lonely at times, but there is always hope.
If you need help starting to trust again in your relationship, I can help. Click Here to get on a free call to learn more.